Flaming Chilly Spicy Chicken.....

This blog post is a semi-fictional story highly exaggerated to the extent of embarrassing absurdity. Any resemblance to any other person, event, past present or future, dead or alive, writing currently or not, even if possible, is not to be made or referred to later while teasing.

 

That being said, if any of you 'loving' friends and blog readers wish to intentionally cross verify the contents and invite this Shameless hungry Protagonist over for dinner of the aforementioned flaming spicy chicken, the invite will be happily accepted but it will also be considered as a complete invitation to stay over for the night and a bit beyond..
You have been duly warned.

 

So to go to the story..

 

 I lovvvvveeee chicken, fish, lamb etc etc etc...I love love love it.
Being born to a vegetarian mother who will immediately stand on one leg holding her ears as 3-day-purifying-penance for even hearing the mention of chicken, my hunger for the non-veg delicacies developed late. Very very late.

 

But develop they did. Because at the very mention of chicken and prawns and Surmai and pomfrets I start drooling. I swear! Even the song 'Surmai aakhion mein' now makes me hungry.. the song is now sung as 'Surmai khati hoon mein, nannha munna ek tukda de ja re'...

 

Well, you get the message..

 

So when I got a 10 day vacation leave from office I decided to celebrate by fattening up on the best and juiciest of non vegetarian delicacies..

 

The vacation started with prawns. Then lamb. Then Surmai. Then pomfret.. and so on.

 

But I kept my favourite flaming chilly chicken for the last so that I could really enjoy it..
When I was in college, and I had been newly de-vegetized, this used to be my favourite dish and I could eat it day and night and day and night again.. it had been five to six years since I had enjoyed its magnificence. We planned to go on on a afternoon for a late lunch.. I had breakfast and took a nap to gear up for my personal experience of man vs food..

 

By mid afternoon, I woke up. Bright and wide awake.

There was a purpose. I was going to eat chicken. Lots and lots of chicken.

 

Got up and went to the same old roadside Chinese tapri from college time, where they made chicken fresh in front of us. I told him to make it extra spicy with extra chilly and extra gravy with extra oil and extra tadka and extra zhataak masala and serve it extra hot .. I told him to give it a flaming zing that I will remember!!!

 

While I warmed up my hands to dig in .... he went on to cook it perfectly!!
Oh so perfectly and served it with a flair..

 

Out came the flaming red hot extra chilly chicken with suspended balls of fiery masala. And gravy accompanied it behind...

 

Every tiny piece made my throat go up in flames..

 

Each had the zing factor that brought tears to my eyes..

 

Each little piece was a effort that made me sweat like a pig..

 

And grunt like one as well!!
"Oh god!! Wow!! Dear god!!Oh dear sweet mary jesus and ganpati bappa!! Aaicha gavat kasla tikhat ahe...!!

 

Second by second and then minutes and then hours passed as I emptied the flaming balls of fire!! Every small piece becoming harder than the previous one!!! But I had to finish it now. It was a now or never challenge!! All or nothing!!

I finished it completely. How good I felt!! Joy of reliving my college youthful hungry days... with heavy eyes and a full stomach and a happy heart I went to take a nap home..

 

Mom says that what you sow, so shall you reap.. 6 years in the past when I used to sow the same flaming chicken I reaped the benefits of sleeping till 11am the next day...

 

What joy it is for an insomniac like me to fall dead asleep the second I touched my bed..!! Sweet bliss.

 

But apparently, where Mom's rule remained the same, after eating roadside-horribly-cooked-flaming-hot-chilly-chicken, what I reaped, did change. I understood that I was 6 years past the prime young age of intestinal digestivity.
And so I reaped. All night long. On and on.

 

------------------

 

By mid night, I woke up. Bright and wide awake.

 There was a purpose. I was going to shit chicken. Lots and lots of chicken.

 

Got up and went to the same old place. The intestinal lords made it extra spicy with extra chilly and extra gravy with extra oil and extra tadka and extra zhataak masala and served it extra hot .. 

All I now remember were the consistent flaming zings after zings!!!

 

While I warmed to dig in for the task ahead .... the lord went on to teach me a lesson perfectly!!

Oh so perfectly and served it with a flair..

 

Out came the flaming red hot extra chilly chicken with suspended balls of fiery masala. And gravy accompanied it behind...

 

Every tiny piece made my *** go up in flames..

 

Each had the zing factor that brought tears to my eyes..

 

Each little piece was a effort that made me sweat like a pig..

 

And grunt like one as well!!
"Oh god!! Wow!! Dear god!!Oh dear sweet mary jesus and ganpati bappa!! Aaicha gavat kasla tikhat ahe...!!

 

Second by second and then minutes and then hours passed as I emptied the flaming balls of fire!! Every small piece becoming harder than the previous one!!! But I had to finish it now. It was a now or never challenge!! All or nothing!!

I finished it completely. How good I felt!! Joy of relieving the pain of my college youthful hungry days... with heavy eyes and a dead stomach and a tired heart I went back to my nap....

 

Mom says that what you sow, so shall you reap..
Yup mom!! I reaped.

 

So that's the story..

 

I now believe in the power of the intestinal gods... They love boiled cabbages and bananas.. trust me.  Yummy, if not before.. at least after. !!

--
J